Thursday, October 28, 2010

Joke of the day


 



Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?





--
I am Not the Best, but I am not like the Rest    


              *.*
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                       Heart Break Kid
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). 
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
                            *.*

Try to solve


 

Scenario:

 

There is a bus with 7 girls inside,

Each girl has 7 bags,

Inside each bag, there are 7 Big cats,

Each Big cat has 7 small cats,

All cats have 4 Legs each!

 

Question:       How many Legs are there inside the bus?

 

The total number of Legs would be the password for this file: (See attached file: Book121.xls)





__,_._,___



--
I am Not the Best, but I am not like the Rest    


              *.*
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                       Heart Break Kid
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). 
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
                            *.*

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Awesome reply


--
I am Not the Best, but I am not like the Rest    


              *.*
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                       Heart Break Kid
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). 
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
                            *.*

Back to School Days!



--
I am Not the Best, but I am not like the Rest    


              *.*
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                       Heart Break Kid
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). 
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
                            *.*

Friday, October 22, 2010

Check out my photos on Facebook

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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

: 10 Rules For Getting Guaranteed Promotion Without Any Hard Work



 

1. Never walk without a document in your hands
documents
People with documents in their hand look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2. Use
computers to look busy
busy-computer.gif
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail,
chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught — your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
3. Messy desk
messy-desk.jpg
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4. Voice Mail
voice-mail.jpg
Never answers your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
impatient-annoyed.jpg
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the Office Late
working-late.jpg
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours
(e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.
7. Creative Sighing for Effect
stressed.gif
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
8. Stacking Strategy
book piles
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
9. Build Vocabulary
vocabulary.jpg
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
10. MOST IMPORTANT!!!:
boss.jpg
DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!

click here

 


--
I am Not the Best, but I am not like the Rest    


              *.*
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                       Heart Break Kid
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). 
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
                            *.*

Friday, October 15, 2010

``` office T- shirts :: dont miss ```


I am Not the Best, but I am not like the Rest    


              *.*
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                       Heart Break Kid
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). 
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
                            *.*

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Learn Excel 2007 Formulas




--
I am Not the Best, but I am not like the Rest    


              *.*
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                       Heart Break Kid
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). 
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
                            *.*

:~ So creative




--
I am Not the Best, but I am not like the Rest    


              *.*
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                       Heart Break Kid
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). 
     __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__
      ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯
                     ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
                            *.*