Funny one liners

 

*   I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in,
 she said: Cheque books.
 
 *   The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the
 prices of new car.
 
 *   What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into
 men when they drink.
 
  *   What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
 A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
 
 *   Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute
 and then expects your pulse to be normal.

   *   Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on
 the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir.
 Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
 
 *   Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a  dog's  life!
 
 *   Q: What's the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings you
 into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
 
 *   Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and
 closes it. He does this again and again. Why?

Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
 

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I am Not the Best, but I am not like the Rest    

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                (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                       Heart Break Kid
             ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..
                .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). 
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